our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
