Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
