He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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