But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
