your thong is hanging out like whoa
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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