ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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