New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
