This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
