I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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