One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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