I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
