My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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