Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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