I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
