i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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