I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
