What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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