I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize