the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
