Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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