I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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