Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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