Sry I called you an 8
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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