As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
