Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I want to fling myself into the sun
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
