Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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