I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize