The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
