I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
