I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
