I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
