I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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