I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
