i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
