He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
