This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
