whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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