trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
