I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
