I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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