Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it because I queefed?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
