You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
