We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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