Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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