his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
