hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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