you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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