but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
