If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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