I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize