Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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