It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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