im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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