You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
