hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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