pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Shame - the story of my life.
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