From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
