She is in my trunk
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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