erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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