your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
